


Game of Thrones Love Will Find a Way - Part 5

by Mileena



Series: Game of Thrones - Love Will Find A Way [5]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-26
Updated: 2014-03-26
Packaged: 2018-01-17 02:24:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1370434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mileena/pseuds/Mileena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prequil/Rewrite Game of Thrones. AU where Jon's mother is a part of Ned's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Game of Thrones Love Will Find a Way - Part 5

The next morning, Heather woke to the smell of honeyed ham and eggs. Sitting up, wondering if she were still dreaming, she rubbed at blurry eyes and found herself looking at her mother. The woman looked pale as a ghost, save for the dark circles under her eyes. Her eyes themselves, usually grey and twinkling, were dull, somber and red rimmed. Heather realized that her mother looked like she had been crying all night. The elder woman’s long, dark hair had been hastily brushed and pinned up, not reflecting her normal well polished look. She stood at Heather’s bedside, the plate of food in her hands. A forced smile was on her lips, but her eyes reflected the heartache that must have kept her awake all night.

Heather was still dressed in the dark green dress she had worn yesterday, having fallen asleep happily when Ned had carried her to her bed last night. Clearly, she had much more sleep than her mother. Elyra looked down at her and her voice came softly. “I brought you something to eat, my sweet child.” she said, as she sat on the bed next to her only daughter. This was all so out of place, so surreal feeling, Heather found herself wondering if last night had been but a dream and this was just another part of it.  
“You didn’t have to bring me food here” she said quietly, “I would have found my way down to the hall soon” she finished with a small smile. But Elyra set the plate down on the little bedside table and turned to face her daughter.

“I wanted to have this time with you, my darling girl” her voice was kind and soft as ever. As Heather looked at her questioningly, the older woman continued. “Heather, you are my youngest child, and my only daughter. When each of your brothers were born, my heart was full of joy, but it ached for a baby girl. And then, you came along. As soon as the maester let me see you, I was scared that it was just a dream. I counted and recounted your tiny fingers and toes over and over again. I had given your father many sons, but finally, I had given myself a daughter.” Her words made Heather smile, but a sadness lurked at that smile, as she realized her mother was trying to say good bye. “My darling girl, I’ve watched you rough house with your brothers, I’ve watched you grow into a Lady, and I’ve watched you fall in love. I know how that feels. When I first laid eyes on your father, I knew he was the man my heart belonged to. Our story wasn’t full of excitement and adventure. He won my hand in a tournament my father had held on my thirteenth name day, and we have made our lives together here in the Hallows, ever since.” she spoke softly, as Heather listened quietly. Elyra picked up a brush and motioned for Heather to turn. She sighed, and let the brush start to move through her daughter’s raven hair. “I’ve always found such comfort in small things, like brushing your hair, taking care of you. I see so much of myself in you, Heather. You know what your heart wants, and I truly believe you would go through the seven hells to get it, or to keep it. I also see a great deal of your father in you. Proud and stubbourn, and a quick temper as well when that pride is challenged. The Vadaris blood runs thick in your veins, my sweet.” she said as she calmly brushed.

“But, I am no longer a Vadaris, mother” she nearly whispered, holding her tears back, but thankful to be turned away from the woman at this moment.

“You have not left this place just yet” Elyra said sensibly. “Your father would not abandon you if you chose to stay, even at this hour.”

“He called me a whore, mother. He told Ned to take me.”

“My dear, you understand your father’s pride better than most. He’s angry and he’s wounded. You know that this is not an ideal situation, no matter where your heart lies.” she told the girl. Heather listened, and nodded slightly as the brush stroked down her near waist length hair. “He may have went about it with a harshness and anger, but his words hold truth. No matter the circumstances, you will be the mother of Eddard Stark’s bastard child, living with he and his wife and their true born children. You know already what people will say. You know this world is not a kind place.” Elyra’s face was somber, and she kept her eyes on the soft hair of her daughter’s as the brush travelled again down her ebony locks.

“Your words are true, mother. I know the disgrace I will bring to you and to father, and to my brothers. I know it will be a scar in the good reign that Ned will have on Winterfell, and on the North. But, I do love him, and he loves me and if that weren’t enough, we both love this child.” her hands moved to her stomach as she spoke. Elyra was patient and kind, letting her daughter have her say. “Any good sense I should have, and father’s will, would see me marry Benjen Stark and raise this baby as his, as Ned’s nephew… The child would be a Stark, but his life would still be a lie. And Benjen would raise this child, knowing that he belongs to his brother, as would his wife’s heart. What kind of life is that for a man as good and as kind as Benjen Stark?” Her tears welled up again, but she managed to keep them in check once more.

“You care a great deal for Benjen, that is clear. Not every love starts out as we intend it. Your father and I got very lucky in that we wrote our own story.” a small smile played at the older woman’s lips at the memory of the strapping, young Arthur Vadaris who had so easily won her heart and her hand. “You’re so young, my sweet girl. You both are. It may seem like folly to entertain the thought, but would it be so very bad to find yourself falling in love with Benjen?”

Heather signed, she felt so drained each time she explained this to anyone, but for her mother, she needed to explain herself once again. “It would be wonderful, mother. I wish I could. It would make father proud of me again, it would keep Ned’s good name untarnished for all of Winterfell, I dare say it may even please Benjen a great deal..” a more sorrowful version of her mother’s smile twitched at the corners of her own mouth. She was so sorry that Benjen had ever fallen for her like that. “But I know I will not. Not now, nor will I grow to. I love him, but not as he deserves.” the stubbourn streak had reared it’s ugly head and was having it’s own say for certain now. “I love you so much, as I love father, as I love all my brothers. But my place is with Ned and our son, no matter the cost.” she felt a stab in her heart at those words. Even though they were true, she wished she hadn’t spoken them.

Elyra gently turned her daughter to face her. “Benjen cares for you a great deal as well, Heather. That is also clear. You’ve heard your father’s words and it will do you well to remember Benjen’s love. I believe he would have you, even after you settle in and find how unpleasant it will be to live with Lady Stark.” she tried to give her stubbourn daughter the advice that her husband could not get through. She knew the girl would listen well enough for her words to sink in, even if she didn’t heed them now, they would stay with her.  
“I will endure” Heather answered softly.

“It breaks my heart that you should have to” Elyra said, taking her daughter’s hands in her own. “There will come a day when you and Lord Stark will both realize that this is a decision made from the hot blood of youth. Eddard is noble, and honorable as his father was before him. But he is trying to do right by his heart because that’s all that he knows. When you are both wiser, you’ll know what should be done. I only hope for you both that you realize before it’s too late to mend the damage that your hearts will cause.”

Heather sat quietly, not knowing what to say. Her mother’s words would stick with her much longer than her father’s angry ones. But the young gryphon’s mind was made up.  
“Eagle’s pride, Lion’s fury.” Her mother said the Vadaris House words sadly. “Your father may not realize there is no taking the Vadaris from you, my darling girl” she squeezed Heather’s hands and her voice quivered. “You will always have a place in my heart. You are always my daughter, Heather. No one can strip you of that.” she held her daughter close to her, both of them shedding silent tears. The two women held fast to each other, until the knock at the door from one of Elyra’s handmaidens came.

“I’m sorry Ma’am but Lord Vadaris sent me to fetch you both. Benjen Stark is here.” the maid said in a soft, appologetic tone for interrupting the moment. Elyra nodded, and as the two wiped away their tears, she sent the maid on her way with a promise that they would be right there. Heather looked to her mother and noticed for the first time how much they looked alike. She had her father’s eyes and hair colour, but otherwise was the mirror image of Elyra Vadaris is every way, from her delicate cheekbones to her full, soft lips.

“I’ve packed a few of your things while you slept this morning. I’ll send the rest on later” she promised as they stood. The two women held hands tightly and made their way toward the great hall. Benjen stood upon their entrance, nodding respectfully to Elyra before settling his eyes on Heather, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips for the girl. Arthur, who had been sitting with Benjen, cast and angry glance at his wife and daughter, but then stood as well, silent and stern faced for the time being. Her face somber, her heart heavy, Heather let her hand slip from her mother’s with a final squeeze and went to Benjen’s side. An awkward, empty silence set in on the vast hall, weighing down on her shoulders until Benjen cleared his throat.

“Your things are already outside packed to my steed, M’Lady. Are you ready?” his voice was soft and respectful, his grey gaze looking to her, watchful for any sign from her suggesting otherwise. With a slight nod of her head, he touched her elbow lightly, keeping his voice low, only meant for her. “Are you sure, Heather?”

The dark brown eyes that rose to meet his were sad but still she held an air of hard pride in her jaw as she nodded. “I am” came her small reply. She turned and hugged her mother one last time, the two women clutching fiercely to one another. “I love you so much, mother” she said, her voice threatening to crack and give way to the sobs she was holding back. Taking a deep breath to calm her racing heart, she turned to her father. Before she could get a word out, the stone faced man raised a thick hand.

“No. You are no longer a Lady of House Vadaris of the Hollows, and you are no daughter of mine.” he said bitterly. Elyra cried at his harsh words, but Heather bit her lower lip, let her eyes fall, and nodded in understanding. Turning, she walked one last time from the great hall, her heart felt as heavy as the cold, grey stone the hall was made of. Benjen bowed before the Lord and Lady, and turned to follow Heather outside.

He stopped her as they got to the stable, and put his arms around his friend. She had no tears to spill this time. Shutting her eyes, she lay her head against his shoulder and hugged him tightly. Her strength slowly drained from her as she leaned on her long time friend. Sensing her body tremble slightly, Benjen held her against him close, one hand in her soft, black hair cradling her head to him.  
“I’m so sorry” was all he whispered after a time of silence between them. Finally, they moved apart long enough for him to lift her gently and settle her on his horse, and pull himself up just behind her. Benjen nestled her into his arms and grabbed the reigns lightly. Her head found his shoulder once more, her pale cheek nestled against the soft fur that lined his cloak. Benjen took the long grey wool and wrapped it about her shoulders, keeping them both warm as she cuddled against him the two protected under the blanket of the cloak from the chill in the air this dismal, cloudy day. He walked the horse at a slow pace, in no hurry to put her in another difficult, emotional situation and just let her snuggle against him, keeping her as comfortable as he could.

“Your father loves you, Heather” he told her, glancing down as they rode along. A little more silence fell between them as she considered his words. Finally, he felt the slight stir against him as she nodded and looked up.

“I know he does. But I’ve shamed him.” she sighed lightly. She knew the decision to force her out hadn’t came easily for the Lord, but she also knew what was in her heart the moment she thought of Ned Stark or their unborn child.

“He asked me once again to take your hand and was angry when I answered that I would only do so if you gave it to me willingly.” She nodded again at this, not surprised at her father’s persistence. “I would never ask there before your Lord father, but are you sure this is what you want?” Benjen continued.

“It’s where my heart lay” she told him, her mind even now wandering to Ned. She briefly wondered where he was and what he could be doing right now. Did he know Benjen had already acted and carried her home to the castle now? Surely the battle he returned to hadn’t made it’s way so far north that he was already back in harm’s way.

“I know. And I know my brother will try to do right by you, and by Catelyn.” He picked his words carefully. “When he sent word to me, he also sent word to her. You know already this news hasn’t set well. She’s spent the night and the morning in her chambers.” His voice stayed soft but held an serious tone. “Heather, I want to ask you again. Will you have me? In marriage, as your husband, I will honour you, protect you. I can’t bear the thought of how people will look at you, the things that will be said. It isn’t right, or kind, my Lady.”

Her brow furrowed, Heather shook her head. “It isn’t kind to take vows swearing to honour you when my heart and my love lay with your brother.” she told him. “Benjen, I’m so sorry that things have turned out this way, but this is the way they have. You heard my father, I am no Lady now. Be it maid or crone, spinster or whore. Whatever people call me now, I will love your brother.”

He looked down at her, his grey eyes still warm with unspoken affection for the girl. “You will always be a Lady” he said simply and he let silence take the last of their ride. Quite the opposite of Cat’s homecoming, no one stood in the yard beyond the gates to welcome her. She hadn’t expected them to. Aside from the circumstances of her arrival being what they were, it was a cold, gloomy day, even for the North.

The chill in the air was a reminder that, as the words of House Stark warned, Winter was coming. She looked up at the cold, grey stone walls of the keep. They were the same unyielding rock as those that built up her father’s halls, but these seemed even less welcoming, if possible, this visit. But it wasn’t a visit, was it? This was the life she had chosen, this was the first day of her life with Ned, what it would be. Her face solemn but resolve set in her jaw, Heather gratefully took Benjen’s helping hands as she slid from his horse and nodded her thanks to her friend. 

“Your home, M’Lady. I’ll see you to the chambers I’ve had made up for you” Benjen’s voice remained steady and calm, as he unbuckled the packs her mother had sent with them. He smiled, and for the first time, she noticed a sadness in his grey eyes that hadn’t been there before. Not knowing how to go about questioning it, the girl just thanked him again and followed him through the great doors into the castle. 

The halls remained rather barren, and she felt the tension weighing down on her, even from the uninhabited passageway. She had never felt like such a stranger here until now. Benjen shouldered the packs and once again, slipped his hand into hers, giving a small squeeze as they walked. What seemed like an eternity of walking in silence, through corridors and up stairways, finally ended at a thick wooden door. Benjen dropped her hand to push open the heavy door, revealing a rather luxurious chamber inside. There was a fireplace that was so grand, it ran half the length of a one wall. A great mantle on it was made from the same thick, deep brown oak as the heavy door was. A comfortable, large bed stood opposite the fireplace, made up with soft, woven grey and crimson blankets and rich, thick furs. Crimson drapes ran down the window that opened out in a vast view of the land, the Godswood lay out in the distance. She believed she could see the red leaves of that special tree from here. Benjen set her belongings down and she turned from looking out the window, to smile at him.

“The fire should make you the most comfortable from here” he said, motioning to the bed. “I want you to be comfortable, my dear.” He had the room prepared for her in mind? She felt her heart melt at his kindness and she went to her friend and threw herself into his arms in a fierce hug.

“Benjen, you are far too good to me! This is beautiful and more than I could have hoped for! Thank you, my dearest friend” her dark eyes sparkled with hope that this was indeed the right choice for her and her baby after all. She dared hope that perhaps everything would work out. Benjen’s arms folded around her and she felt his muscles tighten in a warm embrace. He rested his chin against the top of her head, inhaling the scent of her hair. A moment later, he pulled back. Swallowing hard as he looked down at her, that hint of sadness touching his eyes again, but the corners of his lips drawing in a forced smile.

“My brother wouldn’t have you in servant’s quarters, and neither would I. If you need anything, I’m just down the hall.. “ his words were chosen carefully, but his thoughts seemed to be somewhere else, further away. She was about to ask him if everything was alright when he snapped back and added “I really should leave you to settle in. I hope to see you at dinner” and with that, he turned and left the room, closing the heavy door behind him and leaving her to wonder at his sudden need for departure. 

The fire was already built for her and she sat at the foot of the bed, noting how comfortable the straw mattress was. Putting her hands to her stomach, she sighed and said to no one but herself and her baby “Just you and I now..” As she looked around the chamber, deciding to unpack her things and curious what her mother had packed for her, there was a knock at the door. Finding her voice, she called “Come in.” The door swung open once more and behind it was the familiar face of Maester Luwin. Heather smiled and bid him come in. The man smiled and thanked her, closing the door behind him.

“My Lady-” 

“Heather” she corrected him softly. “Please. Heather will do.” The Maester nodded, a realization in his dark brown eyes at what her correction had meant. 

“Of course, my apologies.” his voice came kindly and gently, like Benjen’s, but even more soft spoken. “Heather. I would have been at the gate to welcome you, but there have been ravens coming and going all morning. I thought you would want to know. The battle has returned to Kings Landing. Lord Stark marches south to find Lyanna. With all hope, he will be back before winter is upon us.” Heather froze at his words. Not only was he telling her the war could be coming to an end, but it wasn’t lost on her that the Maester saw her as someone important enough to keep informed. Whether it had been on Benjen’s request or not, she couldn’t say. She hadn’t known what to expect, whether she would be treated with any respect or not, upon her arrival, or if she would be known as the whore of Ned Stark by even those who had known her so long. She swallowed hard and found tears coming to her eyes.

“Thank you, so much. Thank you for the news, and for your kindness” she wiped away the tear that had escaped, and sniffed, trying to keep the waver from her voice. The older man waved a hand dismissively and shook his head.

“There is no need for thanks. If I may be so bold, I know this choice wasn’t easy for you. And I know you surely have given away a more blessed life to come here. But you are here and in your own way, you are and have always been, a part of this family that I so humbly serve. Heather, you will find no judgment from me.” Her heart melted at his words and she nodded her thanks again to the man. Biting her lower lip to keep it from quivering, she took a deep breath. “I must take my leave, but welcome home, child” Maester Luwin gave her a smile and took his leave.

She didn’t know if she could handle the emotions coursing through her right now. Instead of unpacking, she laid back on her soft bed, holding her stomach protectively as the baby moved inside of her. Her fingers massaged her stomach softly as she imagined her baby growing, becoming a good man like his father. She would give Ned a son, she knew that. It had to be a boy. She soon drifted off and in her dreams, Ned returned to her. There was no southern brides, there was only a wolf and his gryphon. 

Waking up to a soft knock at the door, she found it ajar and a young girl’s face looking in. The girl, who had to be thirteen, maybe fourteen, had a soft expression. Bright blue eyes looked to Heather as she rose sleepily, and a shy smile greeted her with kindness. Not at all what she had expected by whom she assumed was a chamber maid in the Stark household. This girl she didn’t know, however.

“Excuse me, Ma’am,” the girl said, her voice as shy as the look on her face. “The evening meal is being served and Lord Benjen has asked me to fetch you.” she added with a hurry to get the sentence out. 

“Thank you…?” Heather trailed out the last word, hinting that she didn’t know the girl’s name.

“Jesla. Sorry Lady Heather” she said apologetically, her blue eyes turned down toward the carpet. With a smile she added “I’m at your service M’lady” This girl was so soft spoken, so sweet and kind. Heather found herself wondering if Jesla had known who she was being asked to summon to the Great Hall. Surely when she found out, there would be much less honey in her voice.

“Heather will do.” 

“If it pleases you, Ma’am” came a soft reply. A confirming nod of Heather’s head and the girl smiled. “Your meal will be served shortly." Nodding and thanking her, Heather asked the girl to tell Benjen she would be along soon. After Jesla had left, she straightened her dress and ran her fingers through her long hair to try and look more presentable. Splashing some water on her face, she opened the door and tried to mentally prepare herself for the first meal in her new home.


End file.
